


Escape

by maebyrutherford (maeberutherford)



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M, First Kiss, Minor Violence, Nightmares, Sneaking Out, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-21
Updated: 2015-05-21
Packaged: 2018-03-31 14:52:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3982165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maeberutherford/pseuds/maebyrutherford
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>First prize win in my giveaway for noxfauna on tumblr, who requested a fluffy fic with a chaste kiss between their Warden Nina Surana and Templar Cullen after she has a nightmare and he sneaks out with her, a week before the events of Origins. Thanks for trusting me with your beautiful Nina! I really liked writing her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Escape

_Nina! Help me, please! It hurts!_

She tries to run, but her legs don’t comply, they’re not moving fast enough. The boy’s wound is gaping, oozing, and every step she takes seems as if it pushes him further away. They are somewhere familiar, yet alien at the same time. She cannot place it.

_Nina, please, it hurts so much!_

Finally she can move freely and she’s sprinting, at his side in an instant. She crashes down onto her knees, pressing her hands over the wound.  The ground shifts from grass, to stone, and back again.

The demon’s laughter is shrieking all around them. It won’t attack again; the job is done.

She calls forth every ounce of strength and casts her healing spell. Her hands flicker green, glowing brighter. It’s working, it’s actually working! She looks into the little mage’s eyes as his face relaxes with relief, and she thinks she tells him it will be alright.

Suddenly his face is morphing into horror, into agony, and he screams, but it’s not his voice.

_NOOO, IT BURNS IT BURNS IT BURNS IT-_

She looks at her hands, and they’re in flames, all horrible orange and yellow. The boy is gone and it’s her mother there on the ground, engulfed in an inferno, and the heat is blistering, she can’t see her anymore and she can’t stop it. She throws herself onto her back and extinguishes her hands and cries _I didn’t mean to!_ over and over and over.

The demon’s laughter is deafening.

_____________________________________

 

Nina is sitting up in bed when she comes to, her eyes quickly adjusting to the dark. Her chest is heaving, her fair hair clinging to her wet forehead, sweat dripping between her breasts. She sees a dim ember glowing in the hearth, that’s when she knows for sure it was a nightmare.

“Oi,” a sleepy voice from the other bed says, “keep it down, will ya? Yelpin’ in yer sleep again.”

“Sorry, Shenni. I just…sorry.” Nina suddenly feels claustrophobic and too warm, she needs to get out of there, she needs to be outside and feel the cool night air on her skin.

Quietly as possible, she grabs her robe from the bed post and slips it on. She’s not sure what time it is, but it’s very late, and she knows how to get past the templars. She’s done it many times before. Nina plants a light kiss on Shenni’s forehead in apology, who groans and shoos her away before disappearing under the blankets.

Ever so slowly, she opens the door (she’s greased it to stop the squeaking) and peers into the hallway. Nobody is outside; Cullen must have been relieved already. Good, she thinks, shift change. Normally she’d _want_ to see that particular templar and frequently goes out of her way to do so (hopefully _he_ didn’t know that), but not when she’s sweaty and pale without a drop of makeup on, her blonde hair even messier than normal.  Besides, she’s still shaken from her bad dream and probably wouldn’t be very good company.

Nina closes the door quietly behind her. All is quiet in this part of the circle tower, except for the snoring coming from Shenni’s bed. Her bare feet shuffle on the stone as she moves silently down the hallway toward the library.

She’s almost there when she sees a templar step into view; shit, Cullen’s replacement. Ducking into a doorway she presses her tiny elf frame against it; he hasn’t seen her. Reaching into her pocket, she grabs a pebble and tosses it behind him. He turns to investigate the sound and like lightning she slips behind him, smoothly entering the library and sliding into a tight spot behind a bookcase near the doorway, just big enough for her. A bookcase that also happens to be hiding an unsealed window.

She sighs with relief – as she does every time – that her makeshift stepstool of old books are still there on the floor just underneath the high window; her secret escape hatch hasn’t been discovered. She’s fairly sure nobody has seen her, the library appeared empty.

Nina hikes up her robe and prepares to step up onto the books when she feels a very large, strong hand wrap around her arm – gently, but firmly. That’s it, she thinks. The game is up.

“Nina! What in Andraste’s name are you doing?” a familiar low voice hisses at her.

She turns to find Cullen trying to wedge himself behind the bookcase, to no avail – it’s a little too narrow for him. It’s dark back here, but she can see the questioning in his amber eyes, barely illuminated by the sliver of moonlight coming through the window.

In this moment, she’s not quite sure what to say to him or which way this will go. Cullen has become a treasured friend in this place, and she feels she can trust him, yet their friendship has never been tested against his loyalty to the templar order.

He lets go of her, letting his fingers drag down her arm as he does so, a choice she doesn’t miss. It’s then that she notices he’s not wearing gloves, or armor, and she’s taken aback by the sight of him without them. He’s smaller in linens, but still powerful somehow, and she’s almost overtaken by the urge to run her hands all over him as she’d done so many times in her fantasies. She clutches her robes instead.

“I could ask the same of you,” she whispers as haughtily as she can in that awkward space, trying to be clever.

Cullen looks exasperated. “I’m off duty for the evening, and I’m _allowed_ to be here! You’re supposed to be in your chambers, it’s after curfew!” He’s still whispering. “I couldn’t sleep, so I was in the corner reading, and then I see something moving out of the corner of my eye. I thought it was a rat or something, and I came to investigate –”

“Oh really? Am I that indistinguishable from a rodent?” She whispers with a smirk, feigning offense.

“What? Uh, no! No, that’s not what I meant at all. It’s just, you’re so _fast_ , where did you learn to move like that? Never mind, quit changing the subject, you haven’t answered my question!” He looks up, his expression turning incredulous. “Were you going to _climb_ out of that window?”

“Yes! Alright? You’ve caught me. I climb down the ivy outside; I do it all the time when the nightmares come. Get some fresh air, then come back before anyone’s the wiser. It _calms_ me, Cullen. Honestly, is that so terrible? Even at the alienage we could go outside as we pleased!”

His face falls a bit, probably because he’s disappointed in her, and suddenly, she’s furious, so much so that she almost can’t see straight. Angry that she has to sneak around like a thief in the night just to leave the tower. Angry that he has the gall to judge her, to treat her like a criminal, when he’s probably allowed to come and go as he pleases. She had thought the alienage was bad enough, but she had more freedoms there than she does here. She’d had the misfortune of being both a city elf and a mage, going from one sort of prison to another.

She leans in toward Cullen, extending her wrist to him. “Go on, drag me to Gregoir, turn me in! You’ll probably get a medal. I’ll take my punishment. But you know something? It was worth it! It’s not right keeping us locked up in here like animals! You all should be ashamed of yourselves.” She’s trembling from anger, her teeth clenched, her silvery blue eyes reduced to slits.

And yet he doesn’t lead her away. His mouth works and Nina sees something in Cullen’s eyes that makes her feel safe and she doesn’t know why, because she’s still certain he’s going to turn her in. He glances behind him and then puts his hands on the bookcase, pushing it away from the wall, even lifting it slightly so as not to make noise. She’s not sure how he’s managing to move such an immense object with relative ease, and she watches how the muscles in his forearms flex. Nina tries to squash her feelings of awe – she’s still mad at him, damn it.

He moves toward her. “If you insist on doing this, then at least let me go with you. To make sure you’re safe. It’s a long way down, you could have fallen and broken your neck!”

They are face to face now; she can feel the puffs of his breath on her forehead. She realizes they’ve never been this close before, so close she can feel his body heat. She sees his chest rise and fall, and the shapes it makes underneath his tunic. She imagines nuzzling her head into the valley of his chest, listening to his heartbeat and trying to sync her breathing with his.

She’s not sure what he’s playing at, but if he’s still going to turn her in afterward, at least she’ll get one last moment of freedom, even if it is supervised. She nods and turns toward the window – to her surprise, she feels his hands wrap around her waist and lift her up effortlessly to the sill.

“Careful, now,” he says gently, “I’m right behind you.”

Nina smiles to herself and pushes the window open, climbing through as he lets her go. She already misses his hands.

__________________________________________

 

They stroll side by side in the moonlight behind the tower, neither saying a word, their bare feet crunching into the grass. Nina keeps smoothing her hair and stealing glances at him from time to time, only looking away when she thought he’d notice, trying to memorize his strong profile in this lovely light. She notices how his wheat curls are softer, looser, less tamed, and she wants them between her fingers.

He looks so different, so young, or at least his actual age. He appears to be enjoying the night air, looking at the navy blue sky wearing a relaxed expression on his face, and she wonders for the first time if the mages aren’t the only ones who never get to go outside. He’s always in the tower during the day, come to think of it, watching over her and the others, and as far as she knows he’s only off in the evenings at bedtime.

She hears him take a few deep breaths and it reminds her to do the same, the horror of the nightmare starting to recede. Suddenly she remembers something he said.

“Cullen? May I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Back in the library, you said that you couldn’t sleep. Does that happen often?” It would explain the dark circles under his eyes that she notices sometimes.

He hesitates, then nods as they walk on. “Yes, unfortunately. Reading usually helps. Sometimes I go to the library if Kenneth’s snoring is particularly unbearable.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. If there’s anything I can do…” she’s not sure why she’s saying this. How could she possibly help? An idea comes to mind all of a sudden, bringing a blush to her cheeks. She should really stop reading those trashy novels.

His smile is a bit too knowing for her liking. “I appreciate that. What about you? You mentioned nightmares. Do you have them often?”

He’s looking at her with genuine concern, and her heart flutters into her throat. He’s the only person in this damned place that ever asks anything about her.

“Yes. Almost every night.”  She twists her hair in her hands over her shoulder. “Why can’t you sleep?”

“Nightmares. Almost every night.” He gives her a grim smile.

“Well, I guess we have that in common, then.”

“I guess we do.” Neither asks what the other dreams of.

She points to a pathway. “I normally walk down to the lake, I find it soothing after...you know. Is that alright?” She’s still waiting for the other shoe to drop, for him to tell her that this has been fun, now it’s time to go see the Knight-Commander.

“That sounds nice. I haven’t been down there in ages. Strange isn’t it? Since we’re so close.”  He smiles at her and gestures to the path, eyebrow cocked. “Ladies first.”

She laughs and starts walking. “Oh, toying with me now, are you? Like a cat playing with a mouse before he goes in for the kill. Nice, Cullen, real nice.”

He sounds genuinely confused. “I’m sorry, I don’t follow.”

“You’re going to turn me in after this, right? I won’t hold it against you. You’d just be doing your duty.” She’s getting upset again as she hurries further down the path, not looking back at him, not wanting to hear the answer.

He catches up and gets in front of her, taking her by the shoulders. “Nina, I wouldn’t…I couldn’t do that to you. Especially like this, drawing it out. Do you really think so ill of me?”

She crosses her arms and looks away, wanting so badly to tell him how she feels, that she could never think ill of him, it’s utterly impossible. “I don’t know, Cullen. Truly, I don’t. I know that you’ve been a good friend, but I also know how much the order means to you. I know you take your vows very seriously.”

“I do, but,” He sighs and leans down to her eye level, still holding onto her shoulders. She’s very aware of his hands, how strong they feel, how much space they occupy, and the pin pricks of heat that pulse through them.

She looks at him, and from this angle she can see the moon in his eyes, eyes that are pleading and kind, so kind, and the surge of emotion almost chokes her. She wonders if it’s possible to die from something like this.

“I would never put the order before _you_.” He has a brief moment of bravery, but as quickly as it came, it’s gone. He lets go of her shoulders abruptly and rubs the back of his neck. “Ah, shall we continue to the lake?”

They move on in silence until they reach the shore. Lake Calenhaad is breathtaking at night; illuminated by the moon and completely still, glasslike. The only sounds they hear are the occasional frog and the ripples of water lapping at the shore, until Nina asks him something she knows she shouldn’t.

“I’ve heard rumors that my Harrowing is coming up soon, that I’m next.”

“Yes, I’ve heard them as well.” He looks troubled.

“I don’t know exactly when it will be, but… will you be able to strike me down, if it comes to that?”

Cullen turns to her in shock. “Maker’s Breath, Nina. You, me, pretty lake? And _this_ is what you want to discuss?”

“You said you would never put the order before me. But what if I become an abomination? What then?” She knew she was being a bit childish, but it had been on her mind so much lately, and it’s why the nightmares were getting worse. She wanted to know – she had the _right_ to know, it was her life on the line.

He crosses his arms and his expression turns hard, catching her off-guard. “That’s different, and you know it. It has _nothing_ to do with the order. You wouldn’t be _you_ , any longer. Would you want to continue living as one of those things, knowing the havoc they cause?”

“Well, I…no, of course I wouldn’t.” She wasn’t sure why, but she hadn’t thought of it that way. Instantly she regrets putting him on the spot. What had she expected him to say? Of course he would have the courage to do what must be done.

“Cullen, I’m so sorry, please forgive me. I’m just…” Tears threaten, but she doesn’t let them come.

“What is it? It’s alright. You can tell me.”

“I’m scared. The Harrowing always seemed so far off, and now…what if I fail? I still can’t master my healing spells! I feel like I have so much yet to learn.”

He softens again, taking both of her hands in his. They are surprisingly supple, and she feels the hair stand up on her arms from the contact. His thumbs mark trails across the backs of her hands, making her rock forward onto her toes.

“You’ll do fine. I’ve seen what you can do. You can cast circles around some of the senior mages here – no pun intended. And more importantly, you’re incredibly strong, and brave. Those demons won’t know who they’re dealing with.” He’s so earnest, so confident, and she _believes_ him.

He brings her hands into his chest, and she feels his heart hammering. Nina is astonished to find he’s as nervous as she is. “And I’ll be there. I won’t let anything happen to you. You have my word.”

Of course he wouldn’t, she thinks and regret seeps into her very being. He’s so good to her, so caring, and she’s acting like a brat, sneaking out and putting him in danger of getting into trouble and asking him questions she already knows the answer to in order to satiate some selfish need.

Cullen is her knight in shining armor, she realizes, just like the ones she reads about in her cheesy romance novels except _real_ and imperfect and even more wonderful than she could have imagined, and she had felt it from the moment they met. She looks away from him, not feeling worthy of his tender gaze, suddenly.

“You’re too nice to me. Why are you always so nice? I’m not used to that from humans. Weren’t you taught to hate elves like a proper human? In the alienage we were treated like dogs. Less than dogs.”

His hands release hers and now one is on her hip and the other under her chin, and her breath stops. He tilts her head toward him, moving in closer.

“Where are they? I could kill them for you.”

He sounds so sincere that it makes her giggle. She almost forgets how close their faces are. “The entire city of Denerim?”

That crooked smile is there, and she’s not sure her knees can continue to hold her upright. “Consider it done.”

He’s searching her face and normally she would feel exposed and shy, but not now. Now she doesn’t look away, she lets him see her, and welcomes it. She takes in every detail on his face; his full perfect lips, his strong jaw line, his long eyelashes, the tiny scar underneath his right eye, committing it all to memory.

“Your eyes…they are like blue fire in this light. I’ve never seen anything like it. Maker, you’re…” His voice trails off.

His eyes flutter shut and he puts his lips on hers, so softly and gently she almost wonders later if she’d dreamt it. Briefly she feels the tickle of his goatee. He pulls back and releases her, his eyes wide.

“I’m sorry – I, uh, hope that was alright.” His voice is thin, breathless.

She nods vigorously, still unable to tear her eyes from him. “Mm hm, more than alright. I mean, don’t apologize, I really liked it.” She can’t believe how much of an idiot she’s being and wants very much to jump into the lake.

She decides to change the subject. “Look, I don’t want to get you in any trouble for aiding and abetting a fugitive, we should probably head back.” She doesn’t want to leave, not ever, but she knows that reality is coming whether she wants it to or not.

“I suppose it’s best not to push it.” He extends his arm to her, his lopsided smirk assuaging the last of her fears. “Shall we?”

She takes his arm, and if anyone were to ask her right then what her nightmare was about, she wouldn’t have remembered.

 


End file.
